Little did I know it would turn out to be one of the most enjoyable films I have seen in recent times.

RED as per the film, stands for “Retired and Extremely Dangerous”. Simply put, it is a secret list of retired ex-CIA squad members who are now leading their ebbing lives across the country. Morgan Freeman, a cancer patient in his last few years in an old-age home, Bruce Willis, a pensioner, who’s only glee moments are when he tears up his pension cheques only to talk a few minutes to the govt. clerk he fancies.

When one fine day, Bruce realises that he is being chased for extinction, he stumbles upon a plot which involves huge government coups, a fiction-book romance, secret-agent type lives, and a huge list of his old buddies who might face a similar fate if nothing is done about it.

What follows is a thrill ride and a total “paisa vasool”. Bruce as a retired ex-CIA agent is very convincing post his long “Die Hard Macho Man” stint. The romance factor is very believable. The cast very talented, experienced & cool.

With a stellar cast like Helen Hunt, Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis and John Malkovich, you really can’t go wrong!

Like someone on IMDb quipped, “This is the movie that THE EXPENDABLES aspired to be”.

A must watch on a lazy day.

Rating: 7/10

Thor was what I hoped would be a great reason to write again. I wish.

High expectations from this flick, which continues the year for Marvel and takes off from the one stray scene in Iron Man 2 where Thor’s Hammer could be seen. Enough hints to know that this flick was expected to land heavy this year.

Being my first 3D movie (yes, believe it!), I had a lot of expectations. Unfortunately, I guess in India, a working late night show gets step motherly treatment at most places. 6 people in the theatre, 3D glasses with fingerprints, frequent cuts between scenes, and just the front speakers running.

But then, all that still does not account for what already seemed to be a very packed in & unemotionally made action extravaganza, which unfortunately seemed to be just a hurried attempt to cover as much story as possible before setting the scene up.

Chris Hemsworth, as Thor, looks like a God. Natalie Portman is wasted with hardly any time to develop any real connection.

I did read comparisons of this movie with other films like “Iron Man”, “The Dark Knight”, “The Lord of the Rings”. And I strongly disagree with all those fankids who think this movie measures up to any of those.

All throughout totally chaotic fight scenes, Zack Snyder was terribly missed. A repeat viewing is in the backburner before I catch Source Code (which I skipped in favor for this dud).

Rating: 5 / 10

A lot of them memorable, quite a few, totally worthless.

And while there is enough to catch up and write about, I thought it makes sense to start with something that is more recent.

AN EPIC OF EPIC EPICNESS – so goes the tagline. In other words, how can a geek like me ever ignore such a line? Add Michael Cera to it. Add a video-game look and feel to the story, and a bass guitar. You got me at the poster itself!

I remember a time when we all played silly little video games on 286/386 machines. An era when digdug and pac man was uber cool, a world where Mario was the ultimate super-compOid to ever have lived.

Move over & step into the world of Scott Pilgrim and around 90 minutes or so of mindless fun. Did this movie hit all the right spots? Perhaps not.

Picture this. 22 yr old Scott Pilgrim is your average loser dude (and no one plays that better than Michael Cera). Dumped for over a year. Dating a 17 yr old Asian kid as backup.

Scott meets the woman of his dreams – Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), and falls in love (or young puppy love, perhaps?). The only glitch – in order to win Ramona over, Scott has to battle & defeat her 7 evil exes.

Sounds pretty much like a video game journey….and it does match up, with weird characters and pretty nifty effects taking us all throughout the movie.

What bothers me is that this as a story of fighting for love falls flat, with none of the characters having a serious punch (KAPOW!). Half baked emotions and not much to relate to in the storyline.

However, what this movie promises is a fun ride nevertheless as you will witness how slick and interesting a movie can be made, thanks to great effects all throughout, almost reminding me of the subtle effects all throughout “Stranger than Fiction” .

Watch it if you are a gaming buff but dont hold it against me! I loved my Nintendo days, I still miss the pre-pentium craze & I still spoil handsets gaming….but this just doesnt frag it to perfection, mate!

Rating: 6/10

Any average guy from my age would definitely remember the 2D DOS PC game called The Prince of Persia. Those were the days of lame graphics, synthetic MIDI background scores and fun. You start off as a prince in the dungeons of the palace trying to rescue the princess from the evil Jaffar.

This have changed since then. The child has grown. The dream is gone. The prince has not.

The prince has seen great success in terms of how the storyline has been developed & his amazing depiction, coupled with a great line of games, thanks to UBISoft. I recalled sitting next to my best buddy at bschool, watching him play The Warrior Within, The Sands of Time…and reruns of the same

If you loved the Mummy for its deserts, the typical background scores and all the thrill of that genre, this is a must watch. Persian urchin with a Brit accent (bloody hell) a.k.a Jake Gyllenhaal stars alongside the legendary Gandi, Ben Kingsley, pouring in life, blood and accents in this epic depiction of our childhood gaming life.

The plot is simple if you put logic aside – its a fable afterall. Picture this. Powerful persian king Sharaman (lesser known Ronald Pickup, whom we mistook for Bernard Hill who portrayed King Theodon in LOTR 3) has been expanding his empire, with able sons Tus and Garsiv, uncle Nizam (Ben Kingsley of Gandhi fame) has always been a mentor, always been the one filling the king’s cup, but not his throne.

When the battalion attacks the holy city of Alamet with strong beliefs that the city was selling swords & weapons to enemy states, younger brother Dastan who was picked up from the streets by the king to be groomed as a prince, after seeing his grit & courage as a young boy, uses his guerilla warfare to impress his brothers & help towards an easy victory.

Since this is now getting too verbose, let’s sum it up!

The Nizam wants this one particular dagger at Alamet which can turn back time, in order to….. *drum rolls*…..get to the throne (no surprises!). Lot of deceit, lot of action & adventure follows as Dastan (Gyllenhaal) is claimed to be a traitor post a mysterious death of the king.

Much too easily, our Persian hero with a Brit accent & European features runs away with the dagger and the princess of Alamet (Gemma Arterton – Quantum of Solace / Clash of the Titans). An adventure across the desert follows with many interesting characters chipping in – a money minded pirate of sorts, a african slave with a dead-right aim, race ostriches, a clan of deadly assassins called “Hassansins”…

What’s Missing?

I admit that this movie was very interesting & you will not regret the money spent. However, I couldnt help compare with other movies like The Mummy (part 1 only) and see a lot of similarities – the sands, deserts, ancient relic unleashed, which could spell doom, an unlikely hero with not much refinement, a lovely female lead who initially doesnt seem to like our protagonist very much, croonies, little fights of courage, adventures & yes a happy ending.

What sets apart a movie like Mummy however, is the presence of more charismatic & better defined characters. Arnold Vosloo as Hemotep has certainly a lot more going for him in terms of charm and awe than the evil Nizam did in this movie.

Where Brendan Fraser combines great comedy with an effervescent never say die maverick lead character, Jake fits a tad no as well. The chemistry between Brendan &  Rachel (Weisz) is amazing, Gemma Atherton doesnt seem to have the delicate charm that she is supposed to, in this flick.

The most important differentiating factor however also lies in the music. Where PoP gets its music from Harry Gregson-Williams whose shot to fame includes the OST for The Replacement Killers (1998) and the  videogame Metal Gear Solid 2 : Sons of Liberty, The Mummy was crafted musically by the legendary Jerry Goldsmith who composed the OST for movies like Planet of the Apes (1968), Star Trek : The Motion Picture (1979), Chinatown (1974), Basic Instinct (1992) and his award winning score for The Omen (1976).

I however will not take anything away from this adventure story which will certainly leave you enthralled. Definitely worth a watch.

Rating : 6.5 / 10

Huge budgets, massive effects, spectacular lighting and great music define this otherwise so predictable story. I was left confused when asked if I liked the movie, simply because I felt I did like it, but couldn’t say why!

This is the bare basic plot for this magnus opus – A futuristic era where mankind has discovered a rare mineral / element, aptly called “Unobtainium”, which sells at millions a kilo. A private company sets shop in a Planet called Pandora, where this element is available in abundance.

The only issue however, is that the natives of this planet – huge blue human hybrids are so very much connected to their forests, grass, animals, leaves & plants that everything is considered sacred to them. In the heart of a village where Unobtainium lies, stands a huuuuuuuuuge tree which forms the cornerstone of the existence of this clan.

The big question lies ahead – how do you get the villagers to move base, so that we materialistic humans can plunder & profit.

There are 2 factions hired by this company – a group of scientists working on an unexplainable budget, creating “Avatars” – bodies which trained scientists can soul-teleport themselves into & control them, in order to be one with the villagers & explain the situation to an amicable solution.

The other faction is led by ex marines & army men who pine to attack & nuke out the place to have their way, rather than wait for months for an amicable solution.

Moving on to our central character – a paraplegic ex marine who is taken onboard only because his identical twin, a scientist was killed in a freaky accident. Matching DNAs supposedly were the reason why our wheelchair ridden hero is chosen, instead of abandoning an Avatar made for him (or his brother, rather), investing millions in this technology.

Damn Cameron! That’s quite a complicated way to tell a simple tale!

This is my version of this tale for those who wont be seeing this movie anyways…

Picture this: Greedy city people want something out of the village land. Villagers live a peaceful life and worship a tree in the middle of the village as their god. They wont move because money cant buy their belief & happiness. So the mean city people get huge tractors & landmovers out to destroy the village. Villagers get together, other villages join in & help out & they defeat the mean city people. End of story. Happy ending.

Oh yeah one more parallel story which is so often seen in Bollywood as well – the City People send one of them to get friendly with the villagers, win their heart over & influence them. He ends up falling for the villagers & helps them fight the enemy. (refer: Namak Haram)

So much for the plot!

Where does this movie score then?

Great music by James Horner – I really dont need to praise someone with his credentials.

Great use & adaptation of a often retold script. Mindblowing CGI & technology, single handedly gives you a totally new experience, worthy enough to mask a lame old story into something totally fresh.

Sam Worthington as the paraplegic Jake Sully is a dud. But his Avatar “Jakesully” is so very energetic and awe inspiring, and childish at the same time that his enthusiasm can be infectious. You root for his avatar, rather than for him – which probably bodes well for the story.

The chemistry between Sam Worthington & his muse is great. Certain scenes are memorable – their love scene near the holy tree of souls, the taming of the Toruk Maktu, their flight together, and the Independence Day type battle speech.

Watch it for the Avatar, not for Sam, not for Cameron, not for anything else.

Rating: 6 / 10

I read that line on an IMDb review of this movie that neither had a cover image, nor much activity on IMDb. Non mainstream low budget world cinema rarely does receive any, anyways.

I took a minute to think about why I decided to get a copy in the first place. It happened quite a few weeks back, on a bizarre day, when the small queer synopsis caught my eye -

“A rock band writes a song called “Fish Story” based on a sentence from a badly translated novel by a quack translator. The song exceeds the boundaries of space and time and ties people and their stories together. Thirty-seven years go by, and the song strikes a comet and saves the Earth from total destruction”

Strange enough huh? I could only trust the Japanese to come up with a storyline like this, and probably pull it off well!

Let’s move on to the movie….Based on a novel by the same name by Kotaro Isaka, the movie is set in 1975, a time, as per the storyline, when the Beatles had broken up, the future of Rock music was uncertain, and The Sex Pistols had still a year to break into the scene, revolutionising the music world with their Punk and crunchy sound.

Somewhere in the poor alleys of Japan, a struggling band tries its best to make ends meet and break into the big scene. Where they wish to sound radically different, the demand seems to be driven predominantly by ballads and softer strokes.

An abandoned recording and a failed LP buries their career as they disband.That was 1975. That wasnt today.

We start the movie in the backdrop of the Mayan prediction of 2012 & Doomsday as a meteor is approaching the Earth and doomsday seems to be true after all. As everyone has moved away to the mountains for shelter, a music store in another corner of Tokyo is still open…to patrons, to hope and to faith that music will save the world.

While an enthusiast discovers the hidden gem Fish Story and the birth of Punk, an aged cynic mocks them in the store about their belief in super powers, in heroes, in Power Rangers, in the impossible happening, in music and in mankind in general.

The movie takes us in Flashback mode, taking us through 1975, till the current year, going back & forth across different random incidents that leave you with a sense of amusement, wondering somewhere, as to how all this would end, and perhaps (like me), also end up making you think that this was going nowhere towards a big happy end & saving the earth.

I was wrong.

The movie is not a slapstick, but it does have its share of smiles. The story keeps you interested the whole while, and portrays the side of humans who believe, and wont let go of the faith they put in behind the small joys of life, of friendship, of music and mankind.

The punk track – FISH STORY is a great piece of original music which was written for this movie, and as I write this track, a separate tab on my browser searches for a copy of this song on the Internet.

The song accompanies you throughout the movie, the intro, the ups, the lows, the laughs, through shootouts, hijacks, and of course, the end of the world. As it wraps out the outro for this 1 hr 52 mins Jap mixbag of interwoven stories, the song takes you through its entire voyage, starting from 1975, chronologically explaining “How a song could save the world”. Believe me

Rating: 8 / 10

Where Iron Man scores over most other superhero movies is in the attitude. And Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark oozes attitude, confidence, arrogance & to quote from the movie “excessive narcissism”. And that totally makes the bigger part of Iron Man than just gizmos and robotics.

Part 1 defined the beginning and set the trend for the series. Part 2 takes it forward exactly from where its predecessor left. The world is safe. Tony Stark is Iron Man. And he doesnt like shying away from admitting (or even flaunting) it. While Tony envisions a life and a future for the world with peace forever, there are the usual anti-heroes who always chip in. Add a senator with a hate agenda, a competitor in the arms race who wants Stark Industries out of the game, and Mickey Rourke who gets a very good role to follow up on his acclaimed role in The Wrestler.

Mickey plays the central character – Ivan Vanko, a Russian scientist back from prison who seeks to settle scores with Tony for the injustice meted out to his father by Howard Stark (Stark Sr.). Long story put short -

Tony Stark / Iron Man / Mad scientist making another suit to settle scores / Senators with personal agendas backing competitors in the arms race / Lots of mad action / Lovely Miss Pepper Pots. / And yes ofcourse, the so droolably hot Scarlett Johannson as Natalie (Black Widow).

Every single member of the cast is wasted except for Robert Downey Jr & Mickey Rourke. While Pepper Pots (Gwyneth Paltrow) hardly has a role and her wooden expressions find no place in this movie, Scarlett Johannson who looks gorgeous is reduced to have hardly any on-screen time for any chemistry or expectations to develop, especially considering the Playboy image that Tony Stark exudes. Samuel Jackson(Nick Fury)  is still just a passerby, and I hope he has a bigger role to play if a third part to this series is to happen.

Mindless action, CGI & explosions and a very bad plot – things which totally ruined Transformers 2, fortunately were totally missing in this amazing sequel which has the right blend of action & emotions. This movie is not about Iron Man – it is totally about Tony Stark. Love him or hate him – you just cant ignore Robert Downey Jr in this movie. Damn cool, alpha male / geek / superhero.

Bonus for me – AC / DC tracks – Shoot to Thrill at the start & Highway to Hell at the end. Nothing can make a movie experience sweeter. We watched it with a gigantic tub of popcorn & Coke. Suggest the same

Get a roof now, will ya!

Rating : 8 / 10

I had wanted to see this movie primarily because (yes I admit, primarily because) it was touted as Woody Harrelson’s best role till date. Now for those who are still wondering who he is, Woody is credited with roles in known movies like Indecent Proposal, Natural Born Killers, Anger Management (remember the german trans-V hooker? ), Seven Pounds, blah blah – smaller roles in big movies.

Long point cut short, he is cute, not hero material. Tom Cruise is still safe guys! But then he caught my attention with a lovely role in Zombieland. And Defendor indeed, is probably his best role till date.

Just like with Zombieland, Woody does great justice to the story and lives his character out to the hilt. He lives a twin life – as Arthur Poppington, Woody is a simpleton – an orphaned loner who has a menial job at a construction site. He lives out of an abandoned garage and believes in the goodness of humans. He hates crime. He hates drugs. And he remembers his mom when he looks at the moon.

Every night, Arthur turns into “Defendor” (not Defender – he takes great offense to the mis-pronounciation) and saves the city from local hoodlums. His arsenal includes bottles of wasps, marbles, clubs, etc.

On the whole, what looks like a sweet movie about a mentally affected individual has a lot more to deliver. The chemistry between Arthur and the young druggie who has a soft corner for him (Kat Dennings from Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist) is fun, even though Kat Dennings has a voice that can be a serious put off.

Like the official synopsis reads, Defendor seems to be  “A comedy centered around three characters: an everyday guy who comes to believe he’s a superhero, his psychiatrist, and the teenager he befriends.”

However, when I saw the movie, it made me realise the strange quirk of fate, of being normal.

Are we the ones who are really confused? Most movies on mental illnesses make me feel otherwise. Seems like, at times, when the world is not fair to you, it would be better off being in another world and smile, rather than be normal and unhappy, be unclear, be scared, be diplomatic, and nor care.

This movie is about a powerless superhero with a big heart. Perhaps one of the best movies of 2009, gone un-noticed due to lack of any big names. Do watch it! You will fall in love with The Defendor!

Rating : 9/10

The Box exemplifies this in every way. But who wouldn’t get fooled with the interesting concept? A family facing a cash crunch and a rough patch in life is faced with a stranger who leaves a box at their doorsteps. The deal is simple – “Press the button & you get a million dollars in cash. The only flipside is that someone somewhere, unknown to the family will die on pressing the button”.

Should you go ahead or not?

What starts off rather slowly till a point where you say “get on with the thrill”, gets realllllly interesting. Lacklustre CGI and a tense plot keeps you feeling that a creepy scene will be there just round the corner.

But what sounds like a good 2 hours to be spent ends up being your worst nightmare, with the story getting overly confusing till a point when you totally feel cheated – is this about aliens? Is it a governement brainwash project? Or is it just a lot of money badly spent on a lacklustre plot?

Not that I dont love philosophy, but I fail to understand why such a twisted & confused plot to delve into Purgatory!

Stars Cameron Diaz as a very boring lead act. No one else worth mentioning actually. Based on a short story, I wish they had left it that way.

Rating: 3/10

Edit: My interpretation for those who dont mind spoilers:

The box is just a mechanism to assess our moral fibre. Pressing the box makes you yeild to greed, thereby losing yourself. It is rather tragic that philosophically, your spouse is left with an option to either lead the life with a blind & deaf child in the state of purgatory, or restore his senses at the expenses of shooting his better half in the heart.

The fact that when you choose, you lose yourself, from your selfish former self, to the now reformed new you, through the ultimate act of selflessness, by forgoing your life for your loved ones. Pressing the box does not result in the death of a random person, other than you. It rather just triggers a series of weird events that will result in you becoming that stranger you didnt think you would encounter.

Interesting concept, but very poorly explained & executed.

Ever wondered why this oriental duo never made a martial arts movie with all those snazzy effects they were so famous for? Watch this movie and you`ll realise they were better off without one.

Ninja Assassins was a movie I actually had great expectations from – the effects, the fabled concept of Ninjas, slick martial arts, great music, et.al…the whole nine yards. I was so very much disappointed. Certainly not expected from director James McTeigue who debuted with a gem like V for Vendetta

A wafer thin plot governs every martial arts movie and I wonder if it is actual a thumb-rule in this genre that there is no greater motivation than that colored by revenge. Raizo (Rain) looks great to start with. He has the innocence of a young orphaned lad who was picked up by the Ozunu clan to be trained to be an assassin.

He is trained to know no pain, to know no love, to feel no emotions, and to follow orders. But things go wrong because our little ninja has a soft corner for women. A betrayal of his clan later, Raizo is a taciturn the other Ninjas are dying to settle scores with (literally).

Naomie Harris plays Mika, a character which almost anyone could have played. This is so atypical of a martial arts movie to focus on revenge, the protagonist and some slick moves.

Though I generally dont reveal plots in my posts, this movie has none to begin with. So here’s the lowdown of what you should look out for:

Raizo’s super chiseled physique

Ninja stunts

Swooshing metal stars & razor sharp swords

Lots of blood gushing out everywhere

Typical Wachowski brothers trade fight sequences that look slicker than anything you’ve ever seen

I kind of enjoyed the final battle but wished it were even a tenth of as enthralling the endfight from Enter the Dragon was. The world misses you, Bruce Lee!

Certainly a disappointment, but certainly worth a mindless watch – its fast paced and wont make you feel you wasted your 90 minutes.

Rating : 5 / 10